Here’s one for you: I was out and about town yesterday and found myself faced with one of those impossible left-hand turns into heavy traffic. I would have to cross heavy oncoming traffic coming from the left, and merge into heavy traffic coming from the right. No problem, I have good car-ma.
After waiting for a short stint, I spotted a chance opening on each side and made my plan. By my calculations, the openings would converge right in time for me to jump across the first three lanes, land in the suicide lane for just a second, and then merge nicely into perfect harmony with the moving traffic. I’ve got about 350 Arrogant horses under the hood, so the intricate timing could be performed with confidence.
With plenty of room opening up, I made my move. That’s when I encountered the rare but surprisingly aggressive ‘Female Arrogant Jerk’. As I made it to the suicide lane and double checked my alignment with the open space in traffic, the woman just behind the gap actually sped up to close me off. I actually made eye contact with her for a fraction of a second, and noticed the gap disappearing in front of her, and appearing behind her, at a rapid rate. Sure enough; she was intentionally cutting me off. What an Arrogant Jerk.
It’s not like she was going to save herself any time or trouble; traffic was too heavy for a single-car advance to make any significant difference, and we were fast approaching an already red stoplight, no where near the front of the line. Why this person thought it was necessary to cut me off under the circumstances can only be explained in one way: She was an Arrogant Jerk.
Not about to be out Jerked, I sparked my team of horses into full fury and wedged myself into the closing gap with a bravado that whispered confidently: ‘Oh no; I don’t think so.’ I particularly enjoyed watching in my rear view mirror as she burned through a little extra asbestos to shut it all down just a little earlier than she planned (and much earlier as necessary had she maintained her original speed).
I have no idea why she wanted to box me out. It really didn’t make any sense.
I have done some Arrogant things on the road, but I always try to be courteous. I have no patience for people who won’t let others in, around, or through. Especially when it is me, though it doesn’t have to be.
So here’s to you, ma’am; You are an Arrogant Jerk.
I don’t like people who turn without their blinkers, either, but I am sure that will come up later.
