Arrogant Jerk

It’s probably more difficult to be an Arrogant Jerk when you live in humble circumstances, but Philip Garrido proved it can be done when he defended his actions to news reporters yesterday.

While admitting it was ‘disgusting’ that he kidnapped a young 11-year old Jaycee Lee Dugard from her bus stop in 1991 and proceeded to rape her for 18 years, Philip Garrido said “Wait until you hear what happened in this house” and went on to explain that the public would “be completely impressed” by his self-righteously proposed “heartwarming life turnaround”. Words cannot describe the visions in my head at this point, and frankly it may be illegal for me to divulge what I want to do to this guy after hearing him say this.

Philip Garrido is the kind of Arrogant Jerk for which vigilante justice was created. We can only hope in our wildest of dreams that the judge in charge of this case throws him into General Population and turns his back. At least for a few minutes. Garrido wouldn’t make it to the chow line (I am pleased in my understanding that child rapists do not fare well among prisoners).

The story we know so far: 11-year old Jaycee Lee Dugard was standing at her school bus stop down the road from her house one morning in 1991. Her stepfather was watching her from the driveway a short ways away. A car pulls up and someone snatches Jaycee and she is never seen again. For 18 years.

During this 18 years, some of the most incomprehensibly horrible things happen to a number of people. Let’s list them:

1. Jaycee is held against her will, brainwashed, and raped numerous times. She produced two children along the way, fathered (we presume) by Philip Garrido. Garrido’s wife, Nancy, by the way, gets an honorable mention as ‘Defective Arrogant Jerk Wife’ for standing by and watching it all happen, a la Wanda Barzee.
2. Jaycee’s mother cries herself to sleep approximately 6,570 times as she wonders what happened to her little girl for 18 years, many of which she probably gives into, or fights off the nagging thought that perhaps her husband and stepfather to Jaycee, Carl Probyn, may have had something to do with it (most child abductions are carried out by a family member, with step-somethings maintaining prime suspicion).
3. Carl Probyn, Jaycee’s stepfather, the only witness to the event, was scrutinized, disbelieved, ridiculed and discredited from the moment police arrived on the scene. His life has been miserable in knowing that while he was telling the truth; no one would believe him. Ever. It broke up his marriage, and cost him approximately 6,570 days of unbelievable frustration. Based on the reports, it appears that he stayed on the trail and did everything he possibly could to find the girl, no doubt in part motivated by the possibility of clearing his name.
4. Extended family and friends who no doubt spent many a night in anguish over the mysterious loss of their beloved child. It is terrible to loose a child to death. It must be excruciating to loose a child to an unknown and perhaps terrible destiny. The mental baggage is ruinous to say the least.
5. Let’s not forget there are two innocent and perhaps completely unknowing young ladies (aged 11 and 15) involved, too. I am sure their brains are doing extreme gymnastics as the facts unfold around them and they try to get a grip on their alternate reality. They will suddenly not know who they are, and will spend years trying to figure it out.

After all this, Garrido’s Arrogant stance that we might be “completely impressed” by anything he could have done establishes him as such a Jerk that I am having a hard time keeping my language clean. The death penalty seems too easy a punishment for this kind of crime, even if it were available. This Arrogant Jerk has some serious gall to think we would consider anything he could have done in this situation as worthy of any positive impression. I can’t think of a single instance by which these actions can be justified.

Nope; This kind of Arrogant Jerk deserves to receive the kind of punishment that only Quentin Tarantino could come up with. Something Jack Bauer couldn’t hold a candle to. This is among the most terrible acts I can imagine, and it deserves some equal and opposing reaction. The fact that a child was involved should immediately invoke a penalty involving a rusty dull knife and Garrido’s private parts. Spare the expense for anesthetic; this SOB needs to feel it.

Rot slowly, you Arrogant Kidnapping Jerk. And take your defective wife with you (motherly instinct, my ass!).

Watch a creepy video of Philip Garrido here, saying some extremely Arrogant and Jerky things. You’ll want to break his neck.

Boy oh boy; they are comin’ out of the woodwork now, aren’t they?

Senator Charles Schumer of New York apparently doesn’t travel far from his comfy desk. If he did, he would realize that our country is made up of about 70 percent of what he describes as ‘chattering class’. Yes, it seems by his definition that when you discuss your concerns with your fellow human around the water cooler you are part of that despicable underbelly of America he refers to as ‘The Chattering Class’.

A new class we weren’t aware of? Just where does The Chattering Class reside on the scale of class in America? By Senator Schumer’s tone you can assume he believes The Chattering Class is just under Low Class. Certainly his demeanor assures us that The Chattering Class is well below his rank as ‘Senator’, a ‘class’ I am sure he feels entitles him to discuss America’s future with his ‘kind’ without the disparaging nomenclature.

Senators ‘discuss’ while the rest of us ‘chatter’? What an Arrogant Jerk.

To solidify his place in this blog he attempts to assure us that ‘The American people really don’t care’ about the massive amounts of pork we just baked into our ‘stimulus’ plan. I can’t wait to taste that pork in about three years when the money runs out and we look into the vault to see a little yellow Post-It note that reads ‘IOU: One Trillion Dollars. Have a nice day!’.  Mmmmm; yummy.

Here’s to hoping that this little wake up call changes things when Senator Schumer is up for election. Let’s send him back to Arrogant Jerk Class, where he belongs.

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Dear Nancy,

My job is obsolete, no one wants my services, and for my products there are better, cheaper alternatives.

Please, on my behalf, ask the American tax payers to support me for the next 10 years while I work to produce nothing. Also, I would like a little extra because I plan to build a business with no plans to innovate any new products or services, and I will need employees to help me.

In this way I plan to help America by creating jobs for people who had to leave other similar businesses, or those who may be stuck in a government job with absolutely nothing to do in their entire work day.

I am writing with some urgency, too, because I did not plan for my future and unfortunately spent all my money on superfluous consumer goods. Last year I purchased a new automobile that was well beyond my means, and our extended vacation went a little over budget because, well, who doesn’t need souvenirs, right? Anyway; we are in a bit of a hurry because the bill collectors are starting to get a little impatient, and I would like to get them off my back before our cruise next month.

Please give my regards to those in the Senate who are opposing this much needed ‘stimulus’ package. I do not understand why they would want to debate and scrutinize your plans when it is clear that America needs this money now! Don’t they realize that creating jobs out of thin air and putting people to work with no productive objective will give our economy a burst of energy in much the same way those expensive cans of energy drink do? I don’t mean to imply that our economy may experience an even more devastating ‘crash’ once the sugar rush is over; I am sure that once the extra roads and bridges are built, the condoms distributed, and the unnecessary litigation completed, that our American workers will have plenty of options for employment. After all, by then our economy will be back on it’s feet and running at full steam on the shoulders of our artificially inflated job market.

I think it is wrong for those senators to oppose you. They shouldn’t want to debate you or challenge your ideas; don’t they realize that you were awarded your position because you are smarter than everyone else? I’ll bet they just think you are an opportunistic partisan politician working to forward the liberal agenda without consideration for the potentially destructive consequences of spending nearly a trillion dollars on unproven financial tactics. They are probably saying things like ‘that’s what got us into this mess in the first place’. Ha, they just don’t know what they are talking about; everyone knows it is because Bush rushed us to judgment over false reports of WMDs.

I can remember hearing our then Leader and Chief shout over the podium ‘If we don’t act now, and without a moment’s consideration, all will be lost!’. ‘No time to debate’ he said, and rushed us to a war that cost more, did less, and nearly broke America in half with each side of our political structure simultaneously defending and attacking decisions on a daily basis. I am sure glad our new president is taking the time to review and weigh the considerations of both parties as he promised he would do, and taking pause to assure that we are not rushing to judgment as he so eloquently demonstrated was the failure of our previous administration.

So, with no further adieu I await a check from you as I eagerly look in my mail box every day. I am growing weary of doing nothing all day and not getting paid for it. It’s time for change, and I am ready for a new government who will finally see my plight and understand that I have needs, too. I appreciate your understanding for my situation, and am glad that your stimulus will come to me with little or no expectation that I will produce or innovate anything. That would be slavery!

I am glad, too, that this stimulus package will arrive in time to keep me off welfare; the last thing we need is a government burdened with paying welfare and saddled with bad debt. We all know where that leads: higher taxes. Glad we are not headed down that road. In fact, it would probably be a great idea if the government would just buy controlling interest in America’s large companies and banks to make sure that they continue to run like a well oiled machine, much like our social security, healthcare, and public education systems have done for so many years. We all know that companies can’t do well without government aid, tight regulations, and a steep tax on innovation and success. Companies should carry the load, not ‘us’!

Thank you, Nancy, for your commitment to bipartisanship, open debate, and the future of America. Thank you, too, for supporting our new president in his commitment to reach across the isle, to reach outside of Washington, and to reach consensus. I really think this is going to work.

—A. J.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0209/18514.html

I don’t know if this is really a guy named Don Fowler, and I can’t be sure at this moment whether Don is the former National Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. If he is, he is an Arrogant Jerk. If he’s not; he is still an Arrogant Jerk. Check out the video…

Watching the video, you will see Don Fowler being filmed secretly by another passenger (apparently This Guy). In the short clip he laughs about hurricane Gustav hitting New Orleans at about the same time that the Republican convention starts. Ho ho; boy, isn’t that funny?

I am sure the folks in the bayou think so; as they prepare to evacuate for ’round two’. You will recall that in round one (Katrina-equally as funny), nearly everyone in the region lost just about everything they had. It will be remembered as one of the most severe natural disasters of modern times.

That sure is funny. Thanks for the laugh, Don. You Arrogant Jerk.

Let’s get right to it: Nancy Pelosi has made our list today. Here are the details…

According to Politico.com, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was interrupted by protesters who began chanting ‘Drill Here! Drill Now!’ during a press event at which she was speaking. Speaker Pelosi, rightfully annoyed but distastefully responded with ‘Right here?’.

I understand her being annoyed, so I would be willing to give this first response a pass as an expression of her frustration. However, the Speaker of the People decided to go one further and let loose with a vitriolic ‘Can we drill your brains?’.

Wow. What an Arrogant and Jerky thing to say. This from a person who should be considering everyone’s opinion as the Democrat Speaker of the House. The voice of the people; right.

Pelosi unfortunately revealed herself yet again as an extremely partisan entity with little or no concern for the people and opinions for which she claims to speak. If it is not on her side of the isle, why bother? I am sure she meant every bit of her apparent disdain for these protesters. How dare they express their opinion.

Pelosi has let her Arrogance go to her head. It is clearly clouding her judgment, and obviously puts her above The People.

I don’t disagree with her assessment of drilling. The old harp of ‘No blood for Oil‘ seems to have given away to ‘Drill here and save the country from evil’. Neither case is reasonable; a quick study of the issues reveals that the blood for oil idea was born of so many conspiracy theorists, and the drill here campaign is based on removing our dependence on evil oil producers from which we get around one percent of our nation’s oil (that’s right; we get most of it from Canada and other friendly countries).

So Nancy doesn’t get our tap for her stance on the oil issue, but rather her apparent disdain for people who just want a voice in the halls of our nation’s capital. I would expect more reasonable dialogue from such a position of authority, not an Arrogant and belittling response; no matter how silly the issue.

I was quite shocked when Cuban Olympian Angel Matos gave a boot to the head of Chakir Chelbat, the Swedish referee who disqualified Matos for a blatant rule violation during an taekwondo match in Beijing this week.

Even more shocked am I to learn that Cuban dictator, and enforcer of strict adherence to rule Fidel Castro voiced his support for Matos’ flagrant offense. Apparently Castro expressed ‘total solidarity’ for Matos and his coach, both of whom are up for permanent not-invited status to any and all taekwondo events henceforth.

Now, I appreciate that Castro wants everything his way. Who doesn’t? But isn’t it just a bit hypocritical to force your country to obey every rule to the point of fault, and then publicly support an athlete for not only breaking the rules, but lashing out in anger when the hammer falls? Ridiculous. I think he may be an Arrogant Jerk. Either one, really; you choose.

Matos should be removed from the sport immediately. There is absolutely no room in sport for this kind of behavior and I think everyone understands the reasons. It’s not rocket science, and only requires the slightest of basic understanding to comprehend. Athletic sport literally goes out the window as soon as you are allowed to break the rules, or physically abuse a referee. Even baseball coaches understand this.

Truly amazing to me that iron fisted Fidel would defend a guy who so clearly broke the rules and so viciously encroached the athlete/referee barrier. It’s not like there is room for discussion on the offense: Matos was injured, and took more than his allotted 60 seconds to deal with the problem. A lot more. Having gone over the limit, the referee made a standard call. Matos is claiming that the referee was in on the fix. He may have been, but that doesn’t change the fact that Matos broke the rules. On tape. In front of millions.

I am sure he was upset, but it was his own actions that put him in jeopardy. It wasn’t a crazy call from the ref, or an obvious missed call. Matos was winning, in fact. If he thought there was some hanky-panky going on, he could well have complained in any number of formal avenues. But no…

He chose to present Chelbat with an extremely well photographed roundhouse kick to the face. No getting around that one. To the sound of a million camera flashes, Matos made his decision to leave the sport. Castro should try to pick up a little dignity and shun Matos for such an obvious error in judgment.

Very uncool.

I’ve wrestled with this one for a couple hours now, and have decided I may as well get it off my chest…

Jesse Jackson is in the news again. It almost makes me sad to write him up this time. Here’s the deal:

While reviewing some footage of a Jesse Jackson interview late Tuesday night, a Fox News editor noticed that Jesse Jackson was caught whispering some political nastiness during some downtime. Jackson was whispering so as not to be heard, but was caught on an ‘open mic’* saying of Senator Barack Obama (and I quote)…

“[Barack] is talking down to black people“, and later; “I’d like to cut his nuts off.”

Ouch. (For more reasons than one.)

Fox ran with the story and gave everyone something new to talk about for a couple days. Followers of Jackson are shouting racism, which is what they do. This ridiculous assertion only emphasizes the fact that Jesse is preaching from an ever-smaller stump, and that his platform is becoming irrelevant. I know there are still pockets of resistance out there, but come on: the only time I hear about racism any more is when reason is traded for offense. Take for example this remarkable situation.

Everyone else is talking about how much mileage Obama will get out of the new expanse of distance the situation has placed between them. I agree; let’s break it down:

Jesse Jackson was apparently referencing Obama’s recent Father’s Day speech during which he discussed the shortcomings of a disproportionately large number of fathers among the black community. Of this, Barack apparently said “Any fool can have a child; that doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.” I believe his words were meant to be inspirational and encouraging. Amen, brother.

And don’t get me wrong; I believe this statement applies to fathers of every color. There is certainly room for improvement in every corner of society. However, not since the great Bill Cosby lashed out at the black community for fostering gangsta rap, multi-generation welfare, and thin family values have we heard anyone boldly offer constructive criticism from within. No, the likes of Jesse Jackson would rather preach hateful rhetoric about how oppression, The Man, and lack of reparations have held the people down.

This argument once had merit. Perhaps Jesse Jackson even fueled the resolute direction our society is heading. But his role is now defunct.

Jackson’s comments revealed, yet again, a two-faced politician who’s only game is to stir things up in order to promote himself and his aging agenda. Obama scored big this week with people on each side of the color card who are ready for real change and are tired of Jackson and his ilk holding us back simply so they can have a purpose. Obama is uniquely positioned to be the guy who truly inspires the black culture in America to let go of the past, and embrace the future with pride and unity. With Jackson’s comments directed to ‘one of his own’, I hope blacks from every social level will see him for what he is.

Jackson is like the Tony Stark character played by Robert Downey Jr in this summer’s Iron Man; When a young soldier gives the peace sign, Tony Stark, a military weapons contractor, says something to the effect “Yeah, peace, when there is peace we’ll all be out of a job.” I can’t help but think that Jackson goes to bed at night thinking that he will be out of a job the day we all stop using racism as the basis for the ailment of the day, and start being better fathers.

*An ‘open mic’ is a microphone that has been left on. Throughout modern history, politicians of every creed have been caught saying embarrassing things, or even doing embarrassing things, such as using the toilet while wearing an open microphone lavaliere.

A JetBlue flight was diverted from its trip to San Francisco today when Christina Szele lit up a cigarette mid flight and became abusive to the flight attendant who was reminding her that we don’t do that. She claims she doesn’t remember disregarding the particularly well known regulation because she was drunk. She certainly must have been.

I am reminded of Steve Martin’s famous bit in which he sarcastically suggests that the ultimate defense is to simply declare; ‘I forgot’, as in ‘I forgot armed robbery was illegal‘. Apparently Mrs. Szele thinks being drunk is good enough an excuse.

I am calling her to the carpet as an Arrogant Jerk for two reasons; 1. failing to realize that she can’t hold her liquor, and 2. for not remembering how sensitive we are in the skies these days to even the slightest infraction.

Smoking, by the way, is not a slight infraction when flying in a closed space at 30,000 feet. The smallest fire on board a plane can be lethal, and if you haven’t been paying attention: Lethal is bad. Sure, we used to do it 30 years ago, but there was a time we thought bloodletting was a good idea, too.

While I hope this single ridiculous incident doesn’t cause anyone to suggest that carrying cigarettes on board be made illegal, I have to consider that it may take that kind of extreme nonsense to get the point across to smokers. (You may recall from this article that I am not hip to the Jerkiness of many smokers.)

If you are thinking that my assertion that Christina Szele is an Arrogant Jerk is a little over the top, consider the damage done: the incident became such an affair that the pilot made a decision to land in Denver. That takes some serious consideration. Landing a plane where it isn’t supposed to land costs many thousands of dollars. Several hundred people on the plane were no doubt a little bothered by the decision, and I am certain the pilot knew it wasn’t going to be popular.

My personal opinion is that Szele thought this would be a fun publicity stunt. She has been in trouble with the law before, and I’m guessing she wanted a little attention. Well, attention is what she is going to get…

Aside from getting herself good and soused on a plane, and then lighting up mid flight (advertised in the safety video as a ‘federal offense’), she took a successful swing at a flight attendant. Reports indicate she landed a tight-fisted jab on the flight attendant’s face. She let loose with a string of choice words you would more likely hear around an oil derrick, and threw in a couple racial epithets for good measure (the target flight attendant is black). That’s quite a list of bad behaviors all in one episode.  How bad?…

If convicted of these basic charges, Christina Szele becomes eligible to spend as many as 20 years in prison. If a bonus situation befalls her, she will also be awarded a life changing fine of up to $250,000. You could fill your car up a good handful of times with that amount, even at today’s prices.

That was one expensive cigarette. I hope it was unfiltered; I would hate to think any of it was wasted.

Check out the article here: http://wcbstv.com/local/jetblue.queens.smoking.2.752480.html

Or watch the video…

If ‘ignorance is bliss’, I believe John Kerry is kicking his heels together while he dances down the street toward the next sunset, whistling Dixie. Either that, or he is a big Arrogant Jerk.

John said today ‘we were basically at peace’ on September 11, 2001. To give him even the slightest bit of credit, I hope he meant before the towers fell. Nevertheless, you would think a senator of the United States would have a better grip on the big picture.

Or perhaps he just forgot about the attack on the USS Cole in Yemeni. Yes, not quite a year before the 9/11 attacks, we were blatantly attacked by Islamic Extremists, who killed seventeen U.S. Navy sailors, and blew a hole the size of a bus in an armored destroyer.

Maybe he wasn’t paying attention in those privileged briefings when the CIA disclosed that Al Qaeda performed a trial run on USS The Sullivans destroyer. This trial run is considered the precursor to the USS Cole incident, and would have been equally devastating if the incompetent bombers hadn’t sunk their own craft during the approach.

And could it be that he is too young to remember the devastating assaults on two U.S. embassies in Africa, just a couple years earlier in late 1998? I don’t think so; the attack killed over 220 people, and injured enough people to fill a small stadium. It is still pretty memorable to me, and I have never been a United States Senator.

And since John Kerry became a senator in 1985, I find it hard to believe he doesn’t remember the first bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993. It was a pretty big deal, with six deaths, over 1,000 injured, and a nation standing amazed before their television sets, wondering how in the world the trade center didn’t come tumbling down after such a blast.

John Kerry explained his remark by stating that, while our nation had been under attack for 10 years running, we weren’t ‘fundamentally at war at the time’ because we technically hadn’t declared that we were at war. He must have gone to school at the same place that Bill Clinton did. I wonder if John Kerry knows what the definition of ‘is’ is.

Does ‘war’ start when you officially declare it? Or when some bunch of jerks attack you and start the fight? Have you ever wondered what they were saying around the pleasant waterways of Pearl Harbor late on December 7, 1941? John Kerry must think they were saying ‘Hey guys, it’s OK; were not really at war…’

Hey John Kerry; wake up and smell the coffee. Then, stare at yourself in the mirror and have a sample of what an Arrogant Jerk looks like. It takes a special kind to forget that our uniformed men and women have died in aggressive attacks against our country during a time that only an Arrogant Jerk could call ‘peaceful’.

With all the natural disasters happening around the world this week, I was waiting for this to happen, and it has. Finally someone has come out to claim that god is angry with us, and that this is his wrath.

Breaking the icy silence from the religious far right is Reverend Erwin Lutzer, a religious Arrogant Jerk who wants us to believe that these acts of weather and plate tectonics were sent from above to punish us, no, wait,… to remind us, no, wait,… to teach us… (there are so many contradictions in this 30-second clip it made my head spin).

Brother Lutzer was interviewed by Neil Cavuto on Fox News in a way that makes me think they knew in advance how ridiculous this guy would sound. Neil is visibly objectionable near the end of the clip; thank goodness.

Erwin Lutzer is clearly off his rocker, and is an Arrogant Jerk of the pious kind for trying to instill fear into the hearts of those who are already down on their luck. Is it really more comforting to believe that god did it to you? I wouldn’t think so. Let me give you my two cents so you understand where I am coming from…

While we often call these happenings ‘Acts of God’ for lack of better classification (‘Acts of Mother Earth’ was voted down immediately after we ran the Pagans out of town). These conditions are normal, and have been turning Earthlings on their heads for millions of years. The fact that there are more humans in harm’s way during these more recent times means that more people are affected, and more people can talk about being affected by them.

I’ll stop before I give you the whole nickel’s worth, and try to make sense of why god would choose to speak to us in such a riddle, as opposed to just coming down and saying ‘howdy’. Let’s move on.

Cavuto starts his interview by reminding us that there are ‘fires in Florida, earthquake in China, cyclones in Myanmar and tornados throughout the Midwestern United States’. Yes, it has been a terrible week for a lot of people. More than usual in any given week, bringing world attention to the tragedy and sincere, heartfelt sorrow from those of us more fortunate.

Reverend Lutzer has chosen to rub salt in the wounds and is proclaiming that god has done this to these poorest of people in order to teach us all a lesson. What an Arrogant Jerk. Even Cavuto asks why god would do this to such humble and meek people. After all, aren’t they the ones who are going to inherit the earth?

Reverend Lutzer and his suppositions are ridiculous from a reasonable perspective, and unsupportable even from a theological perspective. There is simply no way to explain why god would do such a thing without twisting and turning and adding a heaping plate of baloney to the mix. This guy is full of himself, and is wielding ‘god’ around in order to show himself off as an authority. This sort of behavior really turns my gut, and should be offensive to anyone who has the slightest consideration for those affected.

He is adding insult to injury in a most Arrogant way. God did this to those poor people in order to teach me a lesson? That just doesn’t make sense no matter how you slice it. Nevertheless, it seems to make sense to our good Reverend Lutzer. In the video, you will see this Arrogant Jerk stand firm in his belief that god has done this. Although coming up with a clear and reasonable explanation is a little more difficult for him.

Reverend Erwin Lutzer, you are an Arrogant Jerk.

PS: Florida authorities have captured a person they believe is responsible for starting the fires in Florida. His name is not ‘God’, for those of you who were holding your breath.