Ted Turner said in a recent interview with PBS that he has “always suffered from foot-in-the-mouth disease”. Mark this down as one of the few times I can agree with him.
I seriously look forward to a day when I have so much money that reality just doesn’t matter. Of course I could probably just buy some weed on the street corner and achieve the same level of dementia for just a couple of bucks. Get this…
According to Ted, in 30 or 40 years Mother Earth will be eight degrees warmer, and we will all be cannibals because “basically, none of our crops will grow”. Seriously; he said that. With a straight face. I thought I was previewing the Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live. Ted Turner is a Ridiculous Arrogant Jerk.
Don’t worry about being eaten just yet; Ted also explained that most of us will be dead by then. He also suggested that the reason the Earth is warming is because there are “too many people using too much stuff”. The solution he suggests is that we all voluntarily limit the number of children we spawn to “one or two”. Kind of like all those Hollywood tree huggers who voluntarily drive hybrid vehicles… as their third car! Yeah, that seems to be working. But wait, aren’t we jumping the gun here;
Global warming, as scientist are learning, is a seasonal pattern that occurs every century or so. Our Earth has experienced periods of warming before, and also periods of cooling. In fact, evidence is shaping up to show that we are heading into a cooling period as we speak.
And will eight degrees really destroy all our crops? I am pretty sure eight degrees in my high mountain region will actually enable crop production during specific times of the season. I really cannot imagine a world full of cannibals, so I am hoping he is wrong.
Perhaps Ted has been watching too many of those old zombie movies from the Turner Network Archives.
I read more of what Ted had to say in his interview with PBS and was quite surprised at his level of absurdity. He sounds like a guy who has been reading too much conspiracy theory, and believes it. He needs to get out and walk around a bit. Feel the grass, breath the air, spend a couple bucks on one of those Chicago dogs.
We’re still a bit chilly here in the mountains; eight degrees would make things just about right. Rest assured, I am certain that no one will want to eat you come August when temps soar above 100. Extra crispy?
UPDATE: No sooner did I post this than did the BBC publish an interesting article about ‘global warming’. The article, titled Global Temperatures To Decrease, can be found here. Somebody tell Ted, before he gets too hungry.
Never liked Ted Turner and can’t stand his wife Jane Fonda. Are they still married?
Loved this post…