So I am sitting here late at night thinking that it has been a while since I wrote up an Arrogant Jerk. I was lamenting that there hasn’t been a really good Arrogant Jerk story in the news for a few weeks now. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad could still be a candidate, but I am trying to noodle out how such an obvious political blunder could be perpetrated by a state that wants to be taken seriously.
Anyway; my Tivo clicks off ‘pause’ and switches to live TV, where Kevin Trudeau is pitching his latest book called The Weight Loss Cure ‘They’ Don’t Want You To Know About. Wow. I have read a lot about this guy, but now that I have seen him in action I am convinced he is a Conniving Arrogant Jerk.
Kevin Trudeau, as you may know, is the top-selling author of Natural Cures ‘They’ Don’t Want You To Know About. ‘Natural Cures’ which was banned from various locals as a dangerous tome of hyperbole and general bad advice (‘hey diabetics; stop taking that insulin!’) continues to fly off the shelves. Don’t people have the Internet?
Most interesting about ‘Natural Cures’ is that there is a blatant theme of ‘don’t trust those doctors’ because ‘they don’t want you to know about these natural cures’, after all; ‘they’re just in it for the money’. Yeah; I’ll tell you who’s in it for the money, and I have only been watching this guy’s infomercial for about two minutes.
I almost laughed outloud (I am alone) when he said in mock humility that he ‘didn’t invent this cure’, but rather he ‘found it’. He went on to say that what he has ‘found’ is a ‘cure’ for obesity (and here is the kicker…) ‘according to the doctors‘. He affirms that this ‘cure’ was developed by a British doctor, and that doctors all over the world are using it. For good measure he throws in that Hollywood stars have been using this, and later mentions that he has been interviewed by the likes of Matt Lauer over the find. Shiver me timbers.
Hey Kevin: Do you mean those doctors we are not supposed to trust?
I could go on all night, but to summarize; this infomercial is so chock full of deceit I wonder if a letter to the broadcasting company that is allowing this on the air would raise any eyebrows. It is literally a study in vague marketing tactics and red herring deception designed to fool the elderly and gullible among us (I am not suggesting that elderly equals gullible).
A moment ago he went so far as to reveal that McDonald’s puts sugar on their fries. Um; no. I worked at McDonald’s as a fry cook and never put sugar on the fries. And if you ever hear Trudeau claim that sugar is in the fries before it gets to the hot oil, guess again; I have seen first hand the potato-to-fry supply chain that McDonald’s uses and there is not a grain of sugar in the process.
Scare the people, sell a book.
He never quite gets to the point in his well crafted faux interview. All the while never actually dropping the names of countless stars and doctors that he assures us are behind his amazing cure. Apparently there really are millions of people out there who will buy anything because ‘someone said that someone else said that it worked.’ Again; wow.
Dear Kevin Trudeau, it only took me two minutes of your infomercial to convince me that you are a Conniving Arrogant Jerk. You will make lots of money preying on people who feel they are fat and ugly, and think that you are here to save them. You, sir, will have deposited their $30 long before they discover you are only trying to make a buck.
PS: If you feel you are fat and ugly, and want to loose weight, try my proven formula for getting back that girlish figure: Eat smart and get off the couch at least once a day. Works every time, but doesn’t sell any books.
